The Silver Linings Playbook Chapter 29

My Movies MontageExplaining how I learned Tiffanys routine and became an delicate springr would be difficult mostly because our rehearsals be dogged and grueling and extremely boring. We do the same teensy amours solely over and over again endlessly. For example, if I had to lift a finger in the air for the routine, Tiffany would contain me do it a thousand times every single sidereal day until I could do it to her liking on command. So I result pleonastic you most of the boring details. To make things even more complicated, Tiffany has forbidden me to document our rehearsals in any thorough manner that would exclusivelyow others to steal her training techniques. As she wants to open up a studio someday, she is very guarded about her methods and her choreography too.Luckily, as I am starting to write this part, I find that in every one of his films, whenever Rocky needs to become a better boxer, they show clips of him doing one-arm adjure-ups, running on the beach, p unching slabs of meat, running the stairs of the art museum, gazing at Adrian lovingly, or being yelled at by Mickey or Apollo Creed or even Paulie all era his theme song plays, which is by risk the greatest song in the world, Gonna Fly Now. In the Rocky movies, it only takes a few minutes to cover weeks of training, and yet the audience still understands that a lot of preparation went into the actual development of Rockys boxing skills, even though we only get to estimate a few clips of the Italian Stallion works hard.During a therapy session, I ask slack what this movie technique is called. He has to call his wife, Sonja, on his cell phone, scarce she realises the answer and tells us that what I am trying to describe is called a montage. So that is what I am now going to create below, my movies montage. Maybe youll want to play Gonna Fly Now on your CD player, if you fork out a copy handy or you could put on any song you find inspiring and read a huge to the music. mus ic is not required, however. Okay, here it is, my montageIn anticipation of our big performance, Im running a little faster with Tiffany every day. We push ourselves, and when we get to the park, we sprint the endure mile to her class and get truly sweaty. I always beat Tiffany, because I am a man, yes, but similarly because I am an excellent runner. converge me pumping iron bench press, leg lifts, sit-ups on the back Master 6000, bike riding, squats, knuckle push-ups, curls the works.Crawl Tiffany yells. So I crawl on the hardwood base of operations of her dance studio. Crawl same you have no legs and you havent eaten for two weeks and theres a single apple in the middle of the room and another man with no legs is also crawling toward the apple. You want to crawl faster, but you ceasenot, because you argon maimed. Desperation flows out of your face like sweat You are so afraid you will not get to the apple before the other legless man He will not share the apple with no, no, no. Stop Youre doing it all wrong Jesus Christ, Pat We only have four weeks leftJeanie, I hear my father say. He is in the kitchen take in his breakfast. I am on the basement stairs listening. Why does Pat close his eyes and hum every time I get up the Eagles? Is he going fantastic again? Should I be concerned?Whats this I hear about you missing the Saints game? Jake says through the telephone when I call him venture old after 1100 p.m. He has called two nights in a row, and the note my mother left for me on my pillow read Call your brother back no matter how late. IMPORTANT. Dont you want to dupe what Baskett does this week? Why are you humming?When you are a dancer, you are allowed to put your hands anywhere on your partners ashes, Pat. Its not sexual. So when you do this first lift, yes, your hands will be cradling my ass and crotch. Why are you pacing? Pat, its not sexual its modern dance. enamor me pumping iron bench press, leg lifts, sit-ups on the Stomach Master 6000, bike riding, knuckle push-ups, curls the works.Im Okay, Pat. Im fucking fine. Youre going to drop me a few times while were learning the lifts, but its not because youre not strong enough. You need to center your palm directly at the base of my crotch. If you need me to get more specific, I will. Here. Ill show you. Put out your hand.Your mother tells me you will not discuss Eagles football with your why are you humming? Cliff asks. I did not mention that certain saxophonists name. Whats this all about?I never thought I would say this, but maybe you should consider taking a break from your dance training and watch the game with Jake and your dad, my mother says. You know I hate football, but you and your father seemed to be making a connection, and Jake and you are only if get back to being brotherly again. Pat, please stop humming.For the second lift you need to shade up at me, Pat. Especially just before I go into the flip. You dont have to look at my crotch, but you h ave to be ready to push up so Ill get more height. If you dont give me a push when I bend my knees, I wont be able to complete the flip and will probably crack my head open on the floor.I know you can hear me through the humming, Pat. Look at you my father says. Curled up in your bed, humming like a child. Birds lose by a field goal in New Orleans, and your boy Baskett had zero catches. Zilch. Dont think your dancing through the game didnt affect the outcome.You look like a retarded snake You are supposed to crawl with your arms not slither or wiggle or whatever the fuck you are doing see there. Here. Watch me.In anticipation of our big performance, Im running a little faster with Tiffany every day. We push ourselves, and when we get to the park, we sprint the last mile to her house and get really sweaty. I always beat Tiffany, because I am a man, yes, but also because I am an excellent runner.Whats Tiffany holding over you? Ronnie says. We are in my parents basement. I have alrea dy spotted him as he benched one wimpy sixty-pound rep, and now he is taking a break. This is a surprise visit disguised to look like a prework lifting session. I told you to protect yourself. Im telling you, Pat, you dont know what that fair sex is capable of. My sister-in-law is capable of anything. AnythingYoure making the sunbathe with your arms. In the center of the stage, you represent the sun. And when you make the huge circle with your arms, it has to be slow and deliberate just like the sun. The dance is one days worth of sun. You are going to rise and set all onstage to the flow of our song. Understand?I want you to chatter to Tiffany and tell her its important for you to watch the Eagles game with your father, ma says. Please stop humming, Pat. Please, just stop hummingThe second lift is the hardest by far, as it requires you to go from a squatting position to a stand up position with me standing on your hands, which will be just above your shoulders. Do you think youre strong enough to do this, because we can do something else if you are too weak, but lets try it now and well just see.Why is this dance contention so important to you? Cliff asks me. I look up at the sun painted on the ceiling of his forwardice and smile. What? he says.The dancing lets me be that, I say, and point up.Cliffs eyes follow my finger. It lets you be the sun?Yes, I say, and smile again at Cliff, because I really like being the sun, exactly what allows clouds to have a silver lining. Also, being the sun is what will deliver the goods me with the opportunity to write letters to Nikki.Please stop humming into the phone, Pat. Im on your side here. I understand wanting to learn an art for a woman. Dont you recover my playing the piano for you? But the difference is that Caitlin would never ask me to miss an Eagles game, because she knows its more than just football to me. I can hear you fucking humming through the phone, Pat, but Im just going to keep talking, all rig ht-hand(a)? Youre acting crazy, you know. And if the Eagles lose tomorrow against the Buccaneers, Dad is going to think you cursed the Birds.Okay, you know your routine roughly, anyway. So now I want you to watch mine. Ill say lift when its time for one of your lifts, just so you know when theyre coming. But dont worry, because as long as you do your routine, Ill make sure we link up with the lifts. Okay?Tiffany is in tights and a T-shirt like every other day, but she transforms her face just before she pushes play on the CD player. So solemn. Those sad piano notes and those two dueling voices fill the room, and Tiffany begins to dance beauti to the full but sadly. Her body moves so gracefully, and it is only now that I understand what she means by crying through movement. She jumps, she rolls, she spins, she runs, she slides. She yells Lift and then falls to the floor dead, only to intrude upward in resurrection when the music picks up again. And her dancing is one of the most be autiful things I have ever seen. I could watch her dance for the backup man of my life, and stran gelatiny, watching Tiffany soar around the dance floor makes me tonicity like I am floating over waves with baby Emily. Tiffany is that good.Your father has stopped eating dinner with me, Pat. Hes not taking walks with me either. Ever since the Eagles lost to the Buccaneers, hes back to his Pat, please stop humming. PatIn anticipation of our big performance, Im running a little faster with Tiffany every day. We push ourselves, and when we get to the park, we sprint the last mile to her house and get really sweaty. I always beat Tiffany, because I am a man, yes, but also because I am an excellent runner.I dont think you understand how much this means to my sister, Veronica says, and I am take aback to see her and baby Emily in my basement gym. Do you know that since Tommy passed, she has never asked her family to see her dance? In fact, for two years shes banned us from attention an y of her performances. But this year she thinks she is going to perform flawlessly enough to invite her family shes convinced, in fact and while I am glad to see her so happy, Im afraid to even think about what she might do if you guys screw up the performance. Shes not a stable person, Pat. You do understand that, right? You do understand that your performing poorly will result in months of serious depression? So I need to ask you how are the rehearsals really going? Do you truly think you can hit? Do you?Before I turn off the lights, I stare into framed-picture Nikkis eyes. I see her freckled nose, her strawberry blond hair, her full lips. I kiss her so many times. Soon, I say. Im doing everything I can. I wont let you down. Remember Forevers gonna start tonight.See me pumping iron bench press, leg lifts, sit-ups on the Stomach Master 6000, bike riding, knuckle push-ups, curls the works.The Asian Invasion will pick you up at Cliff nods at me and smiles. Ah, the humming agai n. Your mother tells me you wont talk to anyone about Eagles football, but you arent seriously going to miss a home game, are you?The most important thing is to make the lifts look effortless, as if you are holding up air. I should appear to be floating. Understand? Good, because I need you to stop shaking during the routine, Pat. You look like you have fucking Parkinsons disease, for Christs sake.How does a four-and-one team lose three games straight? Dad yells down from the top of the basement steps. A team that beat the Dallas Cowboys handily? A team with a first-ranked offense and more sacks than any other team in the league? You can hum all you want, Pat. But that dont change the fact that you took the good luck away from the Birds and are ruining our seasonSee me pumping iron bench press, leg lifts, sit-ups on the Stomach Master 6000, bike riding, knuckle push-ups, curls the works.Okay. Not bad. You got the crawling down, and one of the lifts doesnt look awful anymore. But we only have a week left. Can we do this? Can we do this?I bought you a present, Tiffany tells me. Go into the powder room and try it on.In her studios washroom, I remove a pair of lily-livered tights from a plastic bag. Whats this? I call out to Tiffany.Its your outfit. Put it on, and well have a dress rehearsal.Wheres the shirt?Again, Tiffany says, even though it is 1041 p.m. and my elbows feel as though they might explode. I am dancing on raw nerves. I am dancing on bone. AgainEleven cardinal p.m. Again, Tiffany says, and then takes her place at the left side of the studio. Knowing that arguing is no use, I drop to the floor and prepare to crawl.This might tickle some, Tiffany says just before she slides her pink lady razor through the shaving cream coating my chest, and then she shows me how much hair is in the teacup she rinses the blade in. I am lying on a yoga mat in the middle of her dance studio. My chest is covered with some manakin of green aloe shaving gel that turns wh ite when you make foam. Being shaved by Tiffany sort of makes me feel strange, as I have never been shaved by a woman before and have never had my torso shaved at all. When she lathers me up, I close my eyes, and my fingers and toes tingle wildly.I sort of giggle each time she shaves a line of hair off my chest.I sort of giggle each time she shaves a line of hair off my back.We want those muscles to gleam like the sun onstage, right?Why cant I just wear a shirt? I say, even though in a weird sort of way I secretly enjoy being shaved by Tiffany.Does the sun wear a shirt?The sun does not wear yellow tights either, but I do not say so.In anticipation of our big performance, Im running a little faster with Tiffany every day. We push ourselves, and when we get to the park, we sprint the last mile to her house and get really sweaty. I always beat Tiffany, because I am a man, yes, but also because I am an excellent runner.Two days before the competition, just before we are about to perfo rm the routine for the twenty-fifth time that day twenty-five being Tiffanys favorite number she says, We need to do this flawlessly.So I try my best, and as I watch bits of our routine in the mirrors that smother us, I think, We really are dancing flawlessly I am so excited when we finish, because I know we will win especially since we have improved ourselves so much with sacrifice and hard training. This mini-movie will have a happy ending for sureBut something about Tiffanys demeanor is off as we take our water break. She is not yelling at me, nor is she using the f-word, so I ask, Whats wrong?How many people did you recruit to come to the competition?I asked everyone I know.Veronica tells me your family is mad at you for abandoning the Eagles.Not my mom.Im worried that if we dont get enough fans there to hearten for us, the judges might be swayed by another dancers larger fan base. We might not win, and then I would not be able to act as your liaison, Pat.Maybe if you are n ot doing anything tomorrow night, you might want to wreak your wife and children to my dance recital, I tell Cliff. Weve really got a good routine, and I think we can win if only we have enough audience support, and I dont think that my father or brother will be likely to show up, so by and by tomorrow night, youll be done with these long rehearsals?Yeah.So you will be able to go to the Redskins game on Hmmmmmm.Just tell me this, if I go to the dance recital, will you go to the Eagles game with us on Sunday? The Asian Invasion misses you, and truthfully, we sort of feel like youve cursed the Eagles by abandoning them mid-season. scant(p) Baskett has only caught two balls in the last three games and had zero catches last week. And the Birds have lost three straight. We miss you down at the Linc, Pat.I cant talk about that subject until my dance recital is over tomorrow night. I can only say that I need to recruit as many people as possible to cheer for Tiffany and me so the judg es will be swayed. Let me just say that triumphant is really important, and Tiffany says that crowd reply can sway the judges.If I come, will you talk to me about that-thing-you-are-not-allowed-to-talk-about after your performance?Cliff, I cant talk about that until after the performance.Well then, neither can I tell you whether I will be at your performance, Cliff says.At first I think he is bluffing, but he doesnt bring up the subject again, and by the end of our therapy session I feel as though I have blown my shot at getting Cliff to bring his wife to my recital, which makes me feel very depressed.Hello, youve reached Jake and Caitlins machine. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep.Jake. Sorry to call so late, but I just got done rehearsing. I know that you are mad at me because you think I jinxed those-people-who-make-me-hum-at-the-present-moment, but if you bring Caitlin to my dance recital, theres a chance I might be able to do that thing we used to do on Sundays, esp ecially if you cheer for Tiffany and me very loudly. We need people to cheer for us, because the judges are sometimes swayed by the audience. Its really important that we win this competition. So as your brother, Im asking you to please bring your wife to the Plaza Beep.I hang up and redial the number.Hello, youve reached Jake and Caitlins machine. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep.Thats the Plaza Hotel at Hello? Is everything okay?Its Caitlins voice, which makes me nervous, so I hang up, fully realizing I have blown my shot at getting Jake to come to my dance recital.Pat, you know Ill be there. And Ill cheer so loudly for you, but winning isnt everything, my mom says. Its the fact that you were able to learn to dance in only a few weeks that is impressive.Just ask Dad, okay?I will. But I dont want you to get your hopes up. A dance recital is not something he would have attended even if the Eagles won the last three games.